It seemed like a good idea at the time...

This is one of those days when I think, am I freakin' crazy for doing all this all at once??? Answer--probably. Although as usual, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I'm an opportunist. I admit it. An opportunity presents itself, I think about it for all of about 5 seconds, it seems like it could work, and I pounce on it, typically not thinking through all the possible (probable?) unintended consequences. And then I find myself with a giant knot of string, with impossible deadlines and commitments that end up making me absolutely nuts!

And yes, I've done it again. Signed up for a demanding class (and a half), two audit classes, and preparing for this impossible qualifying exam in the spring. Oh, and did I forget the new job that is part-time in name (and pay) only?

All week I've been preparing for a two-day training session as part of the new job. Which was supposed to be "research assistant" but has morphed into "local study coordinator," another term for general on-site chief cook and bottle washer.

The principal investigator and program director were coming down from Chicago to train new recruiters, and I was in charge of doing all the food & logistics as well as presenting my own training component. And then come to find out that they are expecting me to manage all these people, as well as help them practice their delivery, assist them in passing an on-line certification course, and schedule them for clinic appointments to recruit participants. (No, I did not know all this ahead of time.) This doesn't count the work that will come when participants are signed up, collecting and managing the data. And all this on "20" hours a week. Which, again, seemed like a good idea at the time.

Ordinarily, I would find it enjoyable to actually be able to work in my field, but I keep thinking of all the chapters I haven't read, the regression problems I haven't done, and worse, the team project I have not contributed to. Oh, and lest I forget the really important things, the grandbabies I haven't seen and the husband I haven't paid enough attention to.

There are moments, when everything is happening and I am managing it all and it's all working, that I feel like Superwoman--I can do it!!! All!!! Right now!!!

But that's an illusion. I am not Superwoman, despite rumors to the contrary. Not now, not ever.

But I am tired. And I need wisdom.